♓︎ Pisces Edition

Intro

Well it’s been another month (that one flew by for me) and here’s another edition of my newsletter. I know it’s Aries season already, but I’m still working on my punctuality with these!
Psychedelic Art Club is off to a great start. If you’re in Victoria and would like to join us, check out the link below for more information.
Now, on with the musings!

Psychedelic Art Club Details

Chapter 1: Karma & Personal Agency

Personally, I feel quite motivated to investigate the nature of my karma. I don’t mean this as “past life” karma, in a reincarnation sense (that’s a different discussion.) I just mean - investigating the effects of my own choices and actions on my current situation. It’s part of a general orientation towards self-knowledge, it’s related to the concept of shadow work, and I find it empowering.

When I am faced with a challenging situation or a personal “problem,” I try to ask myself this question:

”Would you prefer to be the active investigator of the results of your actions (your karma,) or the baffled victim of circumstance?”

These appear to me as very distinct poles, two very different attitudes towards life - and when I can remember to ask, I know which one I want to embody.

I’ve also come across this challenging journal prompt which is super helpful:

“How am I unknowingly contributing to my own suffering?”

Set a timer for a good while (maybe an hour,) and ask that of your deeper self in a journaling session. Ooof. That’s shadow work. It’s tough. But, wouldn’t you want to know?

A related idea is that there is a large part of the world which we have no agency over, and another part, for all of us, where the choices that we make matter. How much of your attention do you give to the part of the world where it feels like you can’t make a difference? It seems to me that we should focus almost all of our energy on the part of our lives that we have agency over - make the choices that lead to ourselves becoming better people and by extension, the world becoming a better place.

There’s a subtlety here too, because the part of the world that you do have agency over is almost certainly larger than you believe - the honest division of which part is which requires ongoing assessment as your self knowledge deepens and your capabilities evolve.

Chapter 2: The Mythological Function of Pan

Last month I wrote about my intention to investigate the symbolic meaning of my own panic attack - the first I’d ever had, - and the anxiety that I was feeling after. Now I’d like to follow the thread of that investigation. I know that there are more straightforward reasons to consider, like caffeine intake, the news, etc. I don’t want to give the impression that I’m dismissive of those things, but it’s not what I care to write about. So here are some mythic musings for you, I hope you enjoy.

In asking myself, “What is the meaning of my panic attack?” - a first stop was to look into the origin of the word panic: It refers to the Greek god Pan. It used to be said that “panic” was a frenzy caused by being possessed by Pan, or, by the wind from his panpipes. He would roam the woods in wild and lonely places, playing eerie music and striking fear into the hearts of humans.

“The mythological function of Pan is to test our courage, so that only those willing to face their fears may enter the magical places.”

Anyways, I was discussing the topic of Pan & my anxiety with someone when he said; “You won’t find Pan in the city you know.” It struck me as both obvious, and quite a shock. I realized that I have barely left the city in months. I knew that spending time deep in the woods was necessary for my well being. That truth had come home to me when I first moved to Vancouver Island and finally had easy access to the forest. But I had forgotten, and I had neglected that need for too long.
I have heard idea that if a person won’t actively listen to and cooperate with their soul, their daimon, or their purpose; that it’s forced to haunt them. If you turn away from it, your own soul has no choice but to haunt you through whatever means may be available to it (nightmares for example.) So we might as well do what it asks, even though that tends to be things that scare us. Well, I think something similar may have happened with my relationship to Pan. Since I lived in the city and had neglected to go to him, to commune with wild places - he was forced to “haunt” me, with anxiety, and panic. It wasn’t fun, but he got my attention. I’m in the process of correcting the imbalance now - long hikes in the forest alone, and honouring Pan through ritual and prayer, as a start.

Here is the Hymn to Pan, from The Orphic Hymns:

I call upon Pan, the pastoral god,
I call upon the universe,
upon the sky, the sea, and the land,
queen of all,
I also call upon immortal fire;
all these are Pan’s realm.
Come, O blessed and frolicsome one,
O restless companion of the Seasons!
Goat-limbed, reveling,
lover of frenzy, star-haunting,
weaver of playful song,
song of cosmic harmony,
you induce fantasies of dread
into the minds of mortals,
you delight in gushing springs,
surrounded by goatherds and oxherds,
you dance with the nymphs,
you sharp-eyed hunter, lover of Echo.
Present in all growth, begetter of all,
many-named divinity,
light-bringing lord of the cosmos,
fructifying Paian,
care-loving and wrathful,
veritable Zeus with horns,
the earth’s endless plain
is supported by you,
and the deep-flowing water
of the weariless sea yields to you.
Okeanos who girds the earth
with his eddying stream gives way to you,
and so does the air we breathe,
the air that kindles all life,
and above us the sublime eye
of weightless fire;
at your behest
all these are kept wide apart.
Your providence alters
the natures of all,
on the boundless earth you offer
nourishment to mankind.
Come, frenzy-loving, spirit-possessed,
come to these sacred libations,
come and bring my life
to a good end.
Send your madness, O Pan,
to the ends of the earth.

Chapter 3: The Half-Life of Evil

Finally, I just finished reading The Stand. What a great book! It was an epic, moving story with great characters, and it was my first Stephen King novel. I decided to include this little quote which, if nothing else, is an encouraging thought:

“The effective half-life of evil is always relatively short. People are whispering about you… They’re leaving. Did you know that? They’re leaving their posts in the dead of night, and your Eye doesn’t see them.”

That’s all for this one! Thanks again for reading, and feel free to reply if you’d like to connect.
Until next time,

Clark

credits:

Erick Godsey: The journal prompt I shared, and the idea about our soul being forced to haunt us come from him.

Dimitri Georges: The quote about the mythological function of Pan, and “You won’t find Pan in the city.” come from him.

Just finished reading:

The Stand by Stephen King

What I’m listening to:

Net User by Supertask
especially the song Parity

www.clarkmcmillanpainting.com