Mashup Edition - ♍︎♎︎

Intro

Welcome to another edition of the Trippy Thoughts Musings Newsletter. It’s been some time since I wrote one of these and it’s too bad, since I meant to do one every month. But anyways, a few days ago I decided to do a nice long fast, and on the other side of 42 hours without food I’ve had a kind of clarity of thought come back to me that I hadn’t felt for months. It’s been like pulling my head out of a bog of lethargy and brain-fog that it was hard to even notice I was in. “Holy shit! I feel fully awake and 0% sick for the first time in… I-can’t-even-remember how long!” I exclaimed with relief. I wonder if I was dealing with long-covid or something like that and didn’t even realize it. From “in the bog” so to speak, I was telling myself a story about seasonal depression, not being able to motivate myself, beating myself up for sleeping so long, not writing here, etc. But actually, a major issue was that I couldn’t really THINK! Well it seems that fasting has fixed it, HALLELUJAH! Let’s get on with the show.

Here’s a trippy thought to begin;

• Time-binding: When we think back on past versions of ourselves with fondness or affection (like listening to an album that was an important part of your past - really sinking into it - and psychedelics can make this more vivid) perhaps we’re making a “real” non-local connection. I’ve had the sense that this is true. Maybe if we get the tuning right, we can send “packets” of hope, inspiration, or encouragement to ourselves-in-the-past. And if that’s possible, it would stand to reason that some of our current inspirations might be coming from ourselves-in-the-future, sending their attention across time to now. Well, I don’t know. I certainly can’t prove it. But it’s a trippy thought to play with, which can expand your perception of life across more time. How long is “now” anyways? From a strictly rational point of view, when we read the words of a person who lived hundreds or thousands of years in the past, we’re recreating their thoughts (however imperfectly) in our minds, now. Time-binding! A good reason to read old books…
  

Chapter ♍︎: The Bookends Practice

When I think of Virgo, the words practical and discerning come to mind. It’s something I admire. Personally, I have a lot of Air and not much Earth in my chart, so the Earth signs feel like medicine.

The Bookends Practice:
So this is a simple journaling habit to stay on track with priorities and goals from day to day.

One bookend happens in the evening. If you want to try it out, then near the end of your day, spend a bit of time with your journal;

1. Reflect on how your day went. Did you accomplish what you intended?

2. Decide on your priorities for the next day. What’s the #1 most important thing for you to try and accomplish? What’s #2, and #3? Write them down.

Then, first thing in the morning (more or less - don’t forget to record your dreams first!) you;

1. Check your list of priorities to orient yourself for the day.

That’s it!

There’s more to this practice than meets the eye, because, once it’s a habit and your brain trusts that the first thing you’ll do tomorrow is check your priorities - then writing them down in the evening helps you to really RELAX. Your brain will stop trying to keep track of every little thing you’re supposed to be doing. You’ve decided on your top 3. You wrote them down - and now? Forget about it! You’ll sleep better AND be more organized.

I’m not particularly good at this practice, I’ll admit. I share it here as part of my own integration. So good luck out there, Getting Things Done!

Chapter ♎︎: Boundaries and Facilitation

For most of last year I was co-hosting a group called Psychedelic Art Club with my partner Amber. We had a vision for cultivating our local community through depth and shared interest, and it started out really great. Right now it’s on hiatus, for a while, and I’d like to write a little bit about my experience. What I learned (not least, about myself) from facilitating a local group.

First of all, I’m an introvert, and facilitating a regular group like this fell outside of my comfort zone. Lots of social interaction I find tires me pretty quickly, but there are certain styles that I find really fulfilling and nourishing instead - and these are what we wanted to cultivate in our group. For a while it was going great! But…

Over time a certain dynamic developed, and I found I was leaving the sessions feeling drained and depleted more often than not, rather than nourished. I felt frustrated that the group had drifted away from our vision for it, and from its “golden era” when it felt harmonious, exciting, and fulfilling to lead. For a while, I didn’t know what to do about the situation and simply hoped for the best. Later, when I had thought about this a good deal and received some excellent advice (not least of which came from my dreamer) - I knew what I needed to do, but …I couldn’t bring myself to do it.

Basically, I needed to establish clear boundaries around my own energy and the vibe of the group, and …to enforce them, even if it meant initiating conflict or hurting somebody’s feelings.

I discovered that while inclusivity and kindness are important values, they’re not the only ones I hold, and sometimes they’re in conflict with others. Inclusivity can become toxic to a group, and trying to always be kind can become a type of dishonesty when it leads to people-pleasing and compulsive politeness. I needed to assert stronger boundaries around the type of space we were trying to cultivate. I needed to risk personal conflict in order to protect the vibe of the space. I knew this, but unfortunately I found I had people-pleasing parts (or complexes, or conditioning) that made it much easier said than done. Being disagreeable to someone felt terrifying to these parts, and they really didn’t want to hurt anyone’s feelings. Meanwhile, there were other parts accumulating frustration and resentment behind the scenes, nearly ready to throw the proverbial frog at the wall.

—

• (Check out this Episode of This Jungian Life Podcast for a great exploration of the topic of “People-Pleasing” and more on the meaning of that fairy tale.)

—

Well, it didn’t get resolved and the Club is on a seasonal hiatus. And while this feels like a bit of a failure on my part, I’ll admit, I’m also thinking of it as an iteration. So when Psychedelic Art Club 2.0 is launched (probably in the Spring) - it will be iterated, updated and improved upon, based on what we learned the first time around.

Two ideas I’m currently working with for Psychedelic Art Club 2.0 are;

1. An Introvert Friendly Space. (which doesn’t mean “no extroverts allowed”) - but I want to prioritize the needs of introverted and shy folks in the group. I want to encourage them to open up, share their ideas, and to be regular members. I know that when the tone of a space becomes too abrasive and loud, when introverts feel like they’ve been interrupted too often and they have to “act extroverted” in order to be heard - well, eventually they just stop showing up. It exhausts us! And over time that leaves me in charge of a group of only extroverts instead...

2. To use an analogy; I want the soil of these conversations to be rich, and to support the gentle emergence of new sprouts (ideas.) This means - especially in a space where the topic is one of depth like psychedelics - there needs to be a kind of thoughtful silence underlying the words. A spaciousness in conversation needs to be felt if ideas and emotions of depth are going to be shared. People need thoughtful silences throughout the flow of conversation in order to access deep thoughts. And the tender sprouts of new ideas offered need to be treated gently and encouraged to grow. This is an image that works well in my head to describe the vibe I want to create. Unfortunately it’s not something that is easily codified into clear rules. Some people don’t interact in that way… they dry out the soil by filling every silence with words, they stomp on the tender sprouts with immediate challenges or rapid changes of topic, and new ideas are not able to grow. Some people’s way of relating is just not compatible with a thriving, Introvert Friendly Garden, and so, tough boundaries are sometimes necessary for good facilitation.

And that’s going to wrap it up for this one. Thanks for reading! You’ll be hearing from me again before too long.
Until next time,

Clark

What I’m Reading:

No Bad Parts: Healing Trauma & Restoring Wholeness with the Internal Family Systems Model by Richard Schwartz
&
The End of the World As We Know It: A Compilation of Short Stories in the World of Stephen King’s The Stand

What I’m Listening to:

Qualia Compilations: 1 through 4

www.clarkmcmillanpainting.com