♉︎ Taurus Edition

Intro

Hi everyone, welcome back to my newsletter. It’s springtime, the weather is beautiful, and my favourite event of the year (Otherworld) is just around the corner! Here’s a bit of flowery praise to the beauty of nature to get us started.

“O Thou summer-land of eternal joy, Thou rapturous garden of flowers! Yea, as I gather Thee, my harvest is but as a drop of dew shimmering in the golden cup of the crocus.”

- Aleister Crowley, The Treasure-House of Images

I do love this time of year, - here’s what I’m musing about.

Chapter 1: Psychospiritual Maturity

In my ongoing process of personal evolution & seeking self-knowledge, I’ve come across some new insights into the nature of maturity & self-development that I’d like to share. For context, I can recognize many parts of myself that are still primarily adolescent in quality, and I’ve been longing for a greater sense of maturity for some time. Basically, I’ve been trying to bootstrap myself into becoming a “True Adult.” What do I mean by a True Adult? In short, I want to be a conscious, responsible, and genuinely helpful Earthling in these challenging times. Well, I’ve come to see that longing for greater maturity is not an effective way to reach it.
A part of my own story is that, in my late teens and early twenties I became very interested in Zen Buddhism and the work of Alan Watts. I really resonated with the truth that Ego is an illusion (ultimately it is!) and that enlightenment comes from seeing through the illusion that we are individual, separate “I’s.” The trouble for me was, I didn’t become sufficiently dedicated to Buddhism to actually become enlightened. Instead, the belief that “ego is an illusion” became incorporated into my ego - which was then used as an excuse to forgo efforts in the realm of self-development. Well, I recognized this “abuse of Buddhist philosophy” quite a while ago, but it heavily characterized my early twenties.
Anyway, there’s a parallel I think, between the premature enlightenment bit, and the premature True Adult bit. The insight I want to share is this:

We don’t get to skip stages of development, and the way to get to the next stage is not by longing for it, but by learning to love the stage we’re actually at - and by mastering it.

I came to this both through personal introspective work (my iboga ordeal,) and by studying the work of Bill Plotkin - who I have found so insightful and inspiring on this topic. One of the points that Plotkin makes in his books (and I’m using his definitions of “Adolescent” and “True Adult”) is that 80-90% of people in our current culture never reach psychospiritual adulthood in their whole lives - this degree of maturity does not happen automatically at a certain age the way puberty does.
Below is an image of the Eco-Soulcentric Development Wheel from Plotkin’s book Nature and the Human Soul, check it out!

Chapter 2: Ordeal Medicine & Transitional States

Last time I wrote about my ceremony with iboga and the challenging integration I faced afterwards. My integration continues, but it’s becoming much easier now. As one way of wrapping up that process, I participated in another ceremony; this one with Kambo.

My main reason for going to this ceremony was to support my partner as she went with the intention of healing an autoimmune condition - though I found my way to my own authentic intentions as well. In a way, I wanted to tie up loose ends from my previous ceremony. I didn’t purge then (with iboga) and sometimes I think, that’s crucial for healing. During the Kambo ceremony, it felt like several energetic (and physical) channels were cleared and cleansed inside me. Unlike the many hours of iboga, and the long after-effects - this ordeal wrapped up after about 20 minutes of extreme discomfort, leaving me feeling light, peaceful, and vibrantly refreshed within the hour.
Here are some affirmations that came through for me in relation to my intentions:

• I clear the channel for processing grief,
  so that I may love more deeply and freely.

• I process grief in health as I live my life.

• I act consistently and live vibrantly,
  I act in alignment with my True Will every day.

Now I feel like I’ve sufficiently wrapped up that chapter of challenging and unpleasant medicine work and am ready to move on - into my favourite time of year, and my favourite event, Otherworld! (the Vancouver Island regional Burn - https://otherworld.ca/) - also known as “Weirdo Christmas.”

Chapter 3: Shevek & The Occult Library

My partner & I host a theme camp called The Occult Library - where we make our collection of books on the Western Hermetic Tradition, Jungian Psychology, and other related topics available. I conceive of this as a kind of beacon - drawing people who may need to encounter some particular bit of esoteric wisdom at just the right time. It’s also an incredibly fulfilling way to foster conversations about deep topics and meaningful connections. Are you going to Otherworld this year? If so, come say hi!

One final thought for this edition: are you familiar with the concept of “Parts Work”? Basically it’s the idea that our personalities are made up of an inner community, or a cast of characters with different needs, values etc. - and that talking to our Parts is one way of approaching personal or therapeutic work.
Anyway, I enjoy this model of the psyche, and have identified and named several of my own parts. I speak to them in my journal. One of my most cherished, but also most regularly problematic parts is my inner “Anarcho-Communist Idealist,” he’s named Shevek, after the protagonist of The Dispossesed by Ursula K. LeGuin (brilliant novel that!) - Shevek is the part of me that most resents being born into, and living under late-stage capitalism. He’s consistently shocked and dismayed by the evils of capitalism. He’s helplessly horrified by displays of authoritarianism. He feels it’s our birthright to live in an egalitarian, communal, and ecologically responsible society. But I digress. I mention him because (IYKYK,) Otherworld (and other Burner events) are decommodified events. They are Temporary Autonomous Zones, and for the 5 days of Otherworld, Anarcho-Communist Idealism is actually demonstrated. It really exists (temporarily,) and Shevek is so, so happy that there’s place in this world where he fits in authentically and can exist as himself - free.

Thanks so much for reading, and feel free to respond if you’d like to connect. Until next time,

Clark

What I’m reading:

Nature and the Human Soul: Cultivating Wholeness and Community in a Fragmented World by Bill Plotkin

What I’m listening to:

BASS music - by ATYYA, Saturna, Goopsteppa, and more

www.clarkmcmillanpainting.com